On smugness

I mentioned in my recent post I should us this space to explain -- mainly for my own sake -- why I'm an atheist. It's no simple, single thing. I want to write on each and examine each in turn. Doing that will take a few posts, at least. And, each post will take some time and thought to complete.

Before I do, I want to write on something simpler. One of the more common concerns atheists hear is that they (we) are smug. That we're know-it-alls, rude, and son on. Lots of people have written on this, and there's little I could hope to add to any larger conversation in my small corner here.

I don't aim to be a smug know-it-all. I don't know it all. My thinking that there is no god isn't a matter of certainty, but one of skepticism. For a bunch of reasons, I'm not convinced supernatural things exist, nor do we have need for them.

I have no bone to pick with religious people. I'm surrounded by them, many in my own family and friends. I spent my adult life until now largely hiding I'm an atheist so that I wouldn't hurt those people. That really was the main reason.

Recently, I felt the stress of hiding my own thoughts wasn't worth it. I still care what those people in my life think about this. I don't want them to feel insulted, nor do I want them to worry about me. I want them included, not excluded. I'd be happy to discuss things with them, but I dread any arguments or passive aggression.

In that abstract -- that is, looking beyond myself and people I know personally -- it may be that atheists can't overcome this critique about smugness. What I detect out of critiques that atheists are hard-hearted and smug is a sense of incredulity rooted in faith. How could any person question the great vastness of god and the universe? Just who do atheists think they are? How dare they?

In other words, from their perspective, the smugness is all about -- for them -- the given that there is a higher power. To question it is to assault heaven in some way, and good folks shouldn't do that.

It's at points like these that atheists and theists clash head on. It's a point where there is no even ground. Either one believes there is some kind of higher power, and therefore questioning that is hubristic and smug. Or, one thinks there is no such power, and discussing it with others is no affront, no big deal. For these points, I have no easy answer. I know what I think about it. I know what I would talk about. But, I see no way that conversation works out short of a conversion of one kind or another!

So, I don't aim for smug. I aim for starting out thoughtfully, and hoping my counterparts would credit me enough to have a conversation rather than a clash.